The Social Media Sabbatical

How and why you can leave social media behind… if you want to

I recently took a week-long break from social media as part of preparing for psilocybin-assisted therapy. It is important to cleanse yourself as much as possible — both physically and mentally — before taking psilocybin. I didn’t see this decision as anything other than an exercise for the purpose of my therapeutic process. I assumed I would be back to business as usual as soon as the cleanse was over. However, something else happened instead.

The break from social media was welcomed, as I happen to currently be reading The Chaos Machine: The Inside Story of How Social Media Rewired Our Minds and Our World by Max Fisher. The book details all the ways that social media and other Big Tech companies intentionally ignore evidence that their products are harmful to their users. Being aware of the manipulation tactics, while using the product, was getting a little annoying. So I was happy to have an excuse to just step away for week.

Before I explain what happened when I took my break, I think it is important to explain why I assumed it would only be a week long. There are a few beliefs I had that made me feel I needed social media.

1. My business depends on it. I built my own private coaching practice from scratch, originally largely via social media. I share a lot of free, valuable content on Instagram and Facebook and I have gotten many clients because the things I share feel helpful or relatable to them.
2. I will become disconnected socially from people I care about. I keep in touch with several people in my life primarily via social media. Without the platforms I won’t know what everyone is doing and I won’t be able to share what I’m doing with them.
3. People depend on me for helpful content. As I mentioned before, I share free and helpful information via social media. It has always been important to me to make mental health resources as accessible as possible. I often feel like a healing lifeline for people. Deleting my social media will feel like leaving them behind.

I expected my week-long break to come and go and I would inevitably need to find a way to coexist with social media. I expected to feel a little relief when taking a break, along with frequent moments of missing having an endless distraction at my fingertips. I thought by the end of the week I would feel rejuvenated and full of inspiration to share with all of my followers upon my return. Here is what actually happened:

Day 1 I moved Instagram to a folder that was inconvenient to access on my phone. I had already deleted Facebook off my phone months ago, so I logged out of it on my computer. I immediately felt so much relief. Over the course of the day I instinctively clicked on the Lyft app a dozen times, as it had taken the place of where Instagram once was on my phone. I noticed every time I had a personal insight I immediately felt the burden of thinking of how to make it into a digestible post. Every time I realized I didn’t have to curate my own brain I felt so free.

Day 2 I still have down time where I look to my phone for distraction. Only this time I needed to find somewhere else to go. I noticed that my new go-to app quickly became Pinterest (yes, technically Pinterest is a social media app, but since I do not use any of the social features I made an exception). I was reminded of my creativity and love of learning to make things for the sake of making them. A side of me that had been neglected was coming alive. All of my creative abilities had become directed towards helping others. I used to spend 2–3 hours per day on Instagram creating and curating content for others’ benefit. Now that time is being spent daydreaming about creating things for me. I really missed that part of myself.

Day 3 I still take pictures of special little moments or have little bursts of insight that I want to share with others. Only this time I am limited to sharing them with people who are in my contacts. Sending resources, pictures, or special insight with people directly is a lot more satisfying than I realized. I found myself texting people I hadn’t reached out to individually in a really long time. I have created Reels that got over 100k likes, but sending someone I love a video of my son playing piano and hearing their love for him pour out in a private text message is so much more fulfilling.

Day 4 I feel so free of judgement. I love learning about leading-edge resources that deal with the human brain. I take that knowledge and I share it with my individual clients. In that context my work feels hugely successful and incredibly validating. But I have always felt burdened to share my work on social media so more people have access to it. But there has always been something very suffocating about that process. The idea that I have to take hours of research and nuanced insight and make it into a quick caption, graphic, or video — all while not leaving any room for misinterpretation — is incredibly stressful. Worrying about trolls or people who misunderstand you through the condensed social media lens starts to alter your content. I realize now it distracts me from truly exploring the work that I do. I owe it to my paying clients not to be distracted from our work together.

Day 5+ I’m never going back. Ok, maybe I won’t say never. I always want to leave room for me to grow and evolve. But for now I have no desire.

So, I am taking a sabbatical. The term sabbatical means a rest or break from work. I am weary of the work it takes to uphold my social media identity. My reasons for staying were disproven when I took a short break. Thanks to the time I already spent toiling away on social media, I have built enough of a client base to make a decent living off of word-of-mouth referrals alone. My social connections have only grown since limiting myself to one-on-one connections. Lastly, the feeling that people depend on me for valuable content still holds true. Only now my focus has shifted from thousands of people to the dozens I work with directly.

Do you want to take a sabbatical too? Here are my suggestions for how to do it:

1. Plan a short break first (1–4 weeks long)
2. Before your break begins, write down all the reasons you believe you will need to return to social media.
3. When your break begins: delete, move, or log out of all your social media apps (any app that you use to interact socially via making posts, commenting on posts, or sharing content). Make notes of any emotions or changes you notice.
4. At the end of the break, assess your reasons for returning. Question if they still apply.
5. Bonus: Read The Chaos Machine during your break to bring more awareness to the apps you are using

I am reminded of Dunbar’s number as I announce this sabbatical. It is the theory that humans have a cognitive limit to how many people they can have meaningful connections with — that number is 150. I am excited to let go of the facade of connection that social media promises but fails to provide time and time again. I’m going to shift my focus to the tangible community that I believe I best benefit, and who surely benefit me in endless ways.

How to stay in touch with me: My contact info is on my website (www.cindyrobinsonllc.com), I will occasionally write articles on Medium, you may scroll through my past Instagram posts for resources, and my podcast is still up on all major platforms (The Kid Factory Podcast).